This is a good question. I think there is like a broader underlying thing going on where I don't know how to open the valves/faucets whatever on things a little, I only know how to clamp down entirely, or like, completely open the flood gates? So, it is actually very hard for me to just focus on cleaning off one table, or just focus on dusting. I can sometimes be like "I will just take care of the kitchen", but this crosscuts the cleaning and other stuff. The first time Julia was like "why don't you try not lying to your friends?" I was like, "what am I supposed to say when someone asks me how I am doing...just start crying and tell them I'm worried I might die alone?" And she was like "or maybe you could tell them you feel lonely?" So, like, I think I have very little skill at dealing with chunk-sized pieces here, and mostly have worked on suppress/avoid or release everything all at once.
(Worth noting that I have simply hired people to help with decluttering/organizing multiple times in the past, and/or cleaning, because I can do the cleaning to keep things clean, but just get avoidant/dismayed when it is like "ugh this is a mess" and am *not* good at chunking it into manageable pieces and tackling them one by one on my own).
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-11-30 06:01 pm (UTC)(Worth noting that I have simply hired people to help with decluttering/organizing multiple times in the past, and/or cleaning, because I can do the cleaning to keep things clean, but just get avoidant/dismayed when it is like "ugh this is a mess" and am *not* good at chunking it into manageable pieces and tackling them one by one on my own).