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I attended Scintillation! Many events happened while I was there. I will recap some of them.
FANDOM, COMMUNITY & SHARING JOY (6/13)
The next morning I woke up early, yet again, and went to the hotel restaurant for breakfast. The hotel lobby and restaurant feature a koi pond. I hadn't spent much time in the hotel lobby, because the conference had asked us to remain masked any time we were indoors, and after spending so much time masked for panels and conversations in the con areas, most of us were socializing outside. This was my first time for the weekend really spending actual time around the koi pond. Some other Scintillators were having breakfast a table or so away, and they told me the hint that you can get the fish to come near you with a little bit of scrambled eggs.
The Scintillation Discord has an associated Gather.town instance, which has been built up with grand castles and vistas, including a koi pond: in honor, I believe, of this koi pond, in the lobby of the Holiday Inn. I had a very nice discussion with the people who had shared that hint with me about the eggs, and headed up to my room, hastily packed my things, realizing that I was now running a bit behind my schedule for departure, and feeling slightly guilty I had asked Joseph to set an early alarm, but we were not too far behind schedule, and then we got checked out of the hotel and on the road.
At the border, the guard asked what had brought us to Canada, and what I did (when I told him I was a philosophy professor he asked if that meant I was smart, which I was not quite sure how to answer, so I said "often very much not"), and we drove back. Our conversation was easier and better on the way back than it had been on the way there, which, of course, comes from knowing each other much better after several days, especially the way con-time accelerates things. Joseph is a very kind and considerate person; admirably so. It was fortuitous that he was on my way and wanted to share a ride and a room. In both directions, the ride felt shorter, it was more enjoyable. Sharing the ride, sharing the costs, sharing the experience. These things all enriched the experience for me.
When I got home, and I was unpacking, I was struck, again, by my immense good fortune. I had won a literal bundle of prizes. As I said in a previous post: just going to Montreal would have been a joy for me. I have been missing travel so much (and I almost never travel unless it is for work). Dayenu. If I had just gotten to share a board game I love with people who also love it, that would have been a joy for me. I have been craving that shared nerdy board game passion. Dayenu. If I had just gotten to talk about one book series that I love and am passionate about, with the author in the room, that would have been a joy for me, Dayenu. (If I had just gotten to talk about the other book series I love and am passionate about, with the author in the room, that would have been a joy for me. Dayenu). If I had just gotten to meet the people I'd been interacting with in the discord for the past year and a half, and find out how their body language works when they lolsob in real life, that would have been a joy. Dayenu. If I had just eaten those Brioche Champignon, well, I think I made my feelings on those pretty clear.
So as I was unpacking, and I had all these raffle prizes, I realized the main thing that was not entirely joyful about the experience was that some of the people I had most connected with through the discord had not made it to Scintillation. And not only was I sad that I had not met them, I felt that it was unfair, that I had been able to have all of the joy of this experience, and they had not. It's not like there was something I could have done; I hadn't stolen their spot or anything. I just...felt like it was bittersweet.
The joy of the convention, for me, and of fandom more generally, is in the sharing. Joseph and I shared the ride to and from the con, and that was better than riding alone. Eve joined me for the trip to bagels and bookstores my first morning in Montreal, and that was nicer than venturing out by myself. Sharing a game of Shadowhunters with Andrew, Riley, Caroline, and Francis, was wickedly fun. Sharing dumplings with Alexis, Emmett, Gretchen, Emma (who did not eat dumplings but joined us) and Shaz was wonderful. My trip to jean talon resulted in some spices, but the real joy of the trip was sharing a wonderful conversation with Andrew, Mike, Elsa and Emma, just as I was easing into the weekend.
But it is not just about doing things together instead of going off on one's own (and of course, if you read these perhaps overlong posts, I did several things alone, as well; there is nothing wrong with alone time): the panels themselves are often about sharing one's love of specific books, or one's perspective and approach to thinking about reading or writing. Community is about sharing parts or aspects of oneself, and fandom is about the enthusiasm and joy of sharing. So much of this weekend was about the joy of sharing, and I—it wasn't that I felt guilty about coming away with an overflowing goodie bag of prizes, but I was extremely cognizant that I had gotten so much more than I needed to be happy and satisfied already.
So I started sharing my prizes with the people who had not made it. I didn't quite realize that this was what I was doing at first. Had I realized back when I won the bundle I may have not taken a bundle at all, or put some of the things back on the table, or maybe I would have realized this plan and who I would offer things to and done exactly what I did. I am happy with how things have turned out. I found new homes for many of the prizes I had won, like the Earth + Mars scarf, the Quilted Scrabble set, the book of John M. Ford poems, and the fantasy art print with veggies and a dragon hidden among them. I may try to find homes for some of the others yet, but those were the ones that seemed sendable and potentially meaningful. Oh, and I am keeping the Scintillation mug, because it says "Scintillation" both literally, and as a memento of this weekend which could not have been more joyful other than if there had been more people there to share it with.
Thanks for reading my very, very extensive and fairly emotional wrap-up posts about this experience.
I am someone who cries, generally, not at sad things, but at uplifting things, so I have cried several times while writing these posts. This con was a wonderful experience for me, and I really, genuinely treasured it. Thanks to everyone who played a role, large or small, in making the experience what it was, and especially for the care and concern people showed to each other.
FANDOM, COMMUNITY & SHARING JOY (6/13)
The next morning I woke up early, yet again, and went to the hotel restaurant for breakfast. The hotel lobby and restaurant feature a koi pond. I hadn't spent much time in the hotel lobby, because the conference had asked us to remain masked any time we were indoors, and after spending so much time masked for panels and conversations in the con areas, most of us were socializing outside. This was my first time for the weekend really spending actual time around the koi pond. Some other Scintillators were having breakfast a table or so away, and they told me the hint that you can get the fish to come near you with a little bit of scrambled eggs.
The Scintillation Discord has an associated Gather.town instance, which has been built up with grand castles and vistas, including a koi pond: in honor, I believe, of this koi pond, in the lobby of the Holiday Inn. I had a very nice discussion with the people who had shared that hint with me about the eggs, and headed up to my room, hastily packed my things, realizing that I was now running a bit behind my schedule for departure, and feeling slightly guilty I had asked Joseph to set an early alarm, but we were not too far behind schedule, and then we got checked out of the hotel and on the road.
At the border, the guard asked what had brought us to Canada, and what I did (when I told him I was a philosophy professor he asked if that meant I was smart, which I was not quite sure how to answer, so I said "often very much not"), and we drove back. Our conversation was easier and better on the way back than it had been on the way there, which, of course, comes from knowing each other much better after several days, especially the way con-time accelerates things. Joseph is a very kind and considerate person; admirably so. It was fortuitous that he was on my way and wanted to share a ride and a room. In both directions, the ride felt shorter, it was more enjoyable. Sharing the ride, sharing the costs, sharing the experience. These things all enriched the experience for me.
When I got home, and I was unpacking, I was struck, again, by my immense good fortune. I had won a literal bundle of prizes. As I said in a previous post: just going to Montreal would have been a joy for me. I have been missing travel so much (and I almost never travel unless it is for work). Dayenu. If I had just gotten to share a board game I love with people who also love it, that would have been a joy for me. I have been craving that shared nerdy board game passion. Dayenu. If I had just gotten to talk about one book series that I love and am passionate about, with the author in the room, that would have been a joy for me, Dayenu. (If I had just gotten to talk about the other book series I love and am passionate about, with the author in the room, that would have been a joy for me. Dayenu). If I had just gotten to meet the people I'd been interacting with in the discord for the past year and a half, and find out how their body language works when they lolsob in real life, that would have been a joy. Dayenu. If I had just eaten those Brioche Champignon, well, I think I made my feelings on those pretty clear.
So as I was unpacking, and I had all these raffle prizes, I realized the main thing that was not entirely joyful about the experience was that some of the people I had most connected with through the discord had not made it to Scintillation. And not only was I sad that I had not met them, I felt that it was unfair, that I had been able to have all of the joy of this experience, and they had not. It's not like there was something I could have done; I hadn't stolen their spot or anything. I just...felt like it was bittersweet.
The joy of the convention, for me, and of fandom more generally, is in the sharing. Joseph and I shared the ride to and from the con, and that was better than riding alone. Eve joined me for the trip to bagels and bookstores my first morning in Montreal, and that was nicer than venturing out by myself. Sharing a game of Shadowhunters with Andrew, Riley, Caroline, and Francis, was wickedly fun. Sharing dumplings with Alexis, Emmett, Gretchen, Emma (who did not eat dumplings but joined us) and Shaz was wonderful. My trip to jean talon resulted in some spices, but the real joy of the trip was sharing a wonderful conversation with Andrew, Mike, Elsa and Emma, just as I was easing into the weekend.
But it is not just about doing things together instead of going off on one's own (and of course, if you read these perhaps overlong posts, I did several things alone, as well; there is nothing wrong with alone time): the panels themselves are often about sharing one's love of specific books, or one's perspective and approach to thinking about reading or writing. Community is about sharing parts or aspects of oneself, and fandom is about the enthusiasm and joy of sharing. So much of this weekend was about the joy of sharing, and I—it wasn't that I felt guilty about coming away with an overflowing goodie bag of prizes, but I was extremely cognizant that I had gotten so much more than I needed to be happy and satisfied already.
So I started sharing my prizes with the people who had not made it. I didn't quite realize that this was what I was doing at first. Had I realized back when I won the bundle I may have not taken a bundle at all, or put some of the things back on the table, or maybe I would have realized this plan and who I would offer things to and done exactly what I did. I am happy with how things have turned out. I found new homes for many of the prizes I had won, like the Earth + Mars scarf, the Quilted Scrabble set, the book of John M. Ford poems, and the fantasy art print with veggies and a dragon hidden among them. I may try to find homes for some of the others yet, but those were the ones that seemed sendable and potentially meaningful. Oh, and I am keeping the Scintillation mug, because it says "Scintillation" both literally, and as a memento of this weekend which could not have been more joyful other than if there had been more people there to share it with.
Thanks for reading my very, very extensive and fairly emotional wrap-up posts about this experience.
I am someone who cries, generally, not at sad things, but at uplifting things, so I have cried several times while writing these posts. This con was a wonderful experience for me, and I really, genuinely treasured it. Thanks to everyone who played a role, large or small, in making the experience what it was, and especially for the care and concern people showed to each other.
